


We Fall Like Car Crashes

by faeliya



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels, Fallen Angels, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 11:56:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12983556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faeliya/pseuds/faeliya
Summary: His only sin was loving. Loving like a human.





	We Fall Like Car Crashes

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not religious, nor is any of this correct in regards to religious literature. This is all just fiction, friends.
> 
> Inspired by Car Crash by Anna Nalick. Take some time to listen to it.

When Eren witnesses a car crash for the first time, he watches it all play out in slow motion, devoid of emotions for he already knows none of the humans involved will live. Only after they have lain their eyes close, Eren will be there to greet their souls and take them to Heaven. And he does this all with detached interest for this is a task he has been assigned since the first mountains rose from the very Earth.

As of late though, something, or someone, has been melting his stoicness.

An archangel of war and storms, Levi.

With wings as dark and domineering as his namesake, the archangel commands the 104th sphere with unyielding strength and devotion. He leads them all into battle with unwavering ferocity, rallying every one of the angels, as they push the demons back further into their dominion.

In the end, they'll always win with Levi, who even in bloodshed remains beautifully untarnished.

Off the field though, the archangel's defenses are impenetrable.

Admired by many, his devotion to his duties and undying love for God captures all his attention and time. There is no room for anyone or anything else. Eren can't help feel a clenching coil around his core every time he thinks about this.The angel doesn't think much about it though.

Although when he returns to his duty's off the field, they plague him constantly.So much, that when he prepares to let go of the hand holding onto the human souls, he can't help but ask them,

_"What is love?"_

_"Were you loved?"_

_"Is it painful?"_

_"Why do you cry?"_

_"What can I do to help?"_

_"Is there anyone you're thinking of right now?"_

_"Did you love them?"_

_"Do you love them?"_

_"Why do you still love them?"_

_"Even in death you'll love them?"_

His duties became more than just a task given to him by a higher order.

Eren began visiting the loved ones of those he carried to heaven. He watched their anguish send them into misery and destruction. He puzzled their feelings for the dead. He talked to some, listened to their woes. And most important, he parted to them final words uttered by their passed loved ones.

So every time he delivered the messages, Eren would feel that same clenching feeling creep up. However, it was a different kind of experience. It was almost warm and fulfilling, especially when he saw the solace that these humans found in words left by the dead.

Soon enough, his mundane duties began having a more deeper meaning than he ever thought he'd come to find.

However, his latest pursuits did not go unseen. Word from above came to Levi, warning him about the dangers one of his angels has been getting himself into. His behaviors were digressing from his original duties, and he needed to be stopped.

A responsible general, the archangel knew every angel in his garrison. He especially knew an Eren more than he let on.

When Levi first met the 104th squad protecting the 104th sphere, the archangel's eyes were immediately drawn to an angel with eyes like Earth.

It was as if God recreated Earth in the eyes of that angel—where there was light and dark on the first day, firmament the second, lushness and seas third, sun and stars fourth, beasts fifth, and humanity the sixth and final day.

Levi knew when he first laid eyes on that angel, he would be doomed. Just like God loved his creation, he would love this creation. But Levi cannot love, he cannot love anyone else but God. In God he loved and served, and Eren was just a heavenly spiritual being (puuuns) made to tempt him like Samael tempted Eve. The archangel was not naive.

The ever capable subject of God though, Levi succumbed to God's will. He approached Eren first, under the guise of acquainting himself with every angel in the garrison. And the more Levi convened with the younger angel, the more enraptured and defenseless he became.

Eren was even more like Earth than he thought—his whole being alive and beautiful. Before his soul used to be a dimly colored haze of fumes, but now it was brighter than anything the archangel had ever seen in his whole existence. He was falling deeper into the despair without knowing.

With every laugh, every look, every touch. Levi fell. He would do anything for this being before him. He'd even betray his maker, for his love was no longer with God, but the angel, Eren.

Corrupted to the point of no return, the higher order had no choice but to send Erwin, the angel of order, to restore the balance.

Erwin, with his looming white wings the size of an entire sphere, will not judge Levi and Eren's crimes, but he will inform the younger angel of his crimes. As a young angel who rose through the ranks with Levi, he didn't not wish to see his compatriot succumb to a mere youngling's naivety.

"He will be cast out of heaven with you for your crime is his crime too."

Eren could not understand his sins. He served God. He followed his order. He fought with his sisters and brothers. He was a loyal subject.

Laying his crimes before him, Erwin corrected him.

"You have served humans. You followed their orders. You fight not for Heaven, but humanity. You are not loyal to Heaven, but humanity. And you love, just like humanity, when you should love only God as a loyal subject. Because of your greed, you will not only cast yourself out of Heaven, but a valuable subject as well."

Erwin need not say anymore, for Eren finally understood after that.

"I loved wrong, and therefore I shall die like those I reaped..."

The archangel of judgment did not correct him.

"But what of Levi? What is his judgment? Why should he fall?"

"He loved wrong too."

The same clenching that was not warm and pleasant returned like a vice. Was this what humans felt when lost someone? Was this what they called, grief?

"But love is like a spell, youngling."

Eren looked up at Erwin.

"It is easily broken by death. Just like those you reaped, they so readily accepted Heaven as their salvation because love held no meaning beyond death. Those that held on to love only held on because they were alive. In death, love cannot touch you anymore."

Realization dawning on him, Eren understood what the archangel was here to tell him.

Eren was at fault. Touched by humanity, he was acting like a human more than a servant of God. And because of that, he unwittingly dragged Levi into all this. Only his death could set his lover free.

But Eren had tasted greed, and he did not wish to part with Levi. He loved the archangel with his entire being. He loved him with a ferocity unparalleled, by his servitude to even God. Eren would not part with Levi.

"What do you see looking out the edge there?" The dark brooding archangel asked one day.

Eren kept his eyes below him, watching the car that would no doubt wreck itself with that other car across town running red lights and stop signs.

"Car crashes are messy."

Levi's puzzled look pushed Eren forwards.

"I have escorted every soul to heaven like a good child. But when it involved those in a car crash, I hesitated. Without crime, they suffered needlessly. Those innocent suffered only because they were involved. They didn't need to die like they did..."

"Eren."

The angel turned to appraise his lover.

"Levi. I love you."

"I love you too."

Eren merely shook his head. Levi didn't love the same as him. He didn't love where his whole being felt like it was being crushed from some unseen force. He didn't love the way he smiled softly as if telling a secret. He didn't love the feel of his calloused hands brushing against any available skin. He didn't love how warm he was, yet how cold he could be. He didn't love the way his lips felt when they shared breaths. And he especially didn't love the way Levi looked at him sometimes, as if he was the Earth himself.

Levi didn't love like a human, like Eren did. Levi loved him like a spiritual being loved God. Levi didn't love him for who he was, he loved some sort of idea of him. Although his gaze was devoted and sincere, his feelings were not compassionate or affectionate.

"When you fall, do you think it'll be like a car crash?" Eren wondered.

"What are you talking about, Eren?" Levi's eyes widened.

Eren smiled bitterly. Was the spell lifting now that he was approaching death?

As soon as he jumped off edge, would the fall kill him? He wouldn't be reaped, right? What was death for angels?

Eren had so many questions all of a sudden now, but they did not scare him. He feared not death, but living now.

Leaning over, Eren ghosted his lips over his lover's one last time. Just brushing, without touching. "I'll love you even in death."

And Eren fell.

**Author's Note:**

> Angels aren't suppose to love anyone else except God. Eren learns to love from the humans he observes though, and falls for Levi (haha, pun-pun). It's uncertain if Levi loved Eren like Eren loved Levi though.  
> Also if you didn't pick up on it: Even though Erwin tries to trick Eren into falling, saying how love cannot touch the dead—Eren knows better. Because all those messages he delivered were of undying love.


End file.
